I remember my mom bought us a little orange book with a big red “101 poems” on the cover.
She bookmarked a page and gave it to me and said that I should memorize the poem.

(I think I was in the 1st or 2nd grade at this time. And at school, we were made to memorize a poem each year and have to recite it in front of the whole class. This, by the way, was one of the worst memories I had of elementary school because I hate reciting in class and speaking in public.)

So I asked her a big: WHY?
Why do I need to  memorize this poem? Why should I?
Number 1.  I hate memorizing stuffs
Number 2.  It’s not even a requirement in school.
Number 3. What’s the point?

My mom brushed off my being melodramatic (yes, even as a child I was already a drama queen!haha) and just simply said: “It’s a beautiful poem. Just memorize it and analyze what it means.”

For weird reasons, I did memorize it.

This was a poem by William Ernest Henley called, Invictus:

Out of the night that covers me,
Black as the Pit from pole to pole,
I thank whatever gods may be
For my unconquerable soul.

In the fell clutch of circumstance
I have not winced nor cried aloud.
Under the bludgeonings of chance
My head is bloody, but unbowed.

Beyond this place of wrath and tears
Looms but the Horror of the shade,
And yet the menace of the years
Finds, and shall find, me unafraid.

It matters not how strait the gate,
How charged with punishments the scroll.
I am the master of my fate:
I am the captain of my soul.

One of the weird reasons is that when I read it, I felt chills.

This is the type of literature that when you read it, you suddenly wish for confidence.
And this newfound self-esteem will make you want to deliver this as a speech in a very kick-ass British accent, in front of a crowd with head held high and one closed fist in chest.

At this time in my life, my quarter life crisis is nearing to end it’s peak (I think) and I remember this poem. I am memorizing it again.

Hopefully when all the dusts in my confused mind settles, a clear vision of a life goal will arise.
And I will continue to use the last two lines as a mantra in seeing it through.

“I am the master of my fate: I am the captain of my soul.”

Invictus -- latin for invincible; a poem; a movie; an inspiration. Thanks Ma! :)

The Many faces of Insomnia…

I came home from another usual 12-hour workday.
And almost an hour after midnight, I am still awake.

I am so dead tired. I have nothing to do. But why can’t I still sleep?

One word came to mind: Insomnia.

Since tomorrow is going to be another early day for me, I decided that it needs to stop (or needs to be cured? i dunno).
It’s unhealthy and it just leaves me more tired the next day.

So I typed in the word “insomnia” to good-old google.
But before I got to the real root of my search, I got distracted with other results for “Insomnia”.

It turns out (based on a shallow search), there is one movie and two songs called Insomnia.

One song is from a band (i assume) called Faithless. You have to hear it to understand why it’s called as such.

Who could sleep to that beat?? Not really a lullaby. haha

As for the other song… well…
let me give you a hint: Craig David! ;p

“Insomnia.. aaah! Feels like Insomnia… aaah!”

The movie, I haven’t seen yet.
I’ve heard of it but I don’t know why I never got to see it (especially with two of my favorite actors as part of the cast– Al Pacino and Robin Williams).

Plus, it has a really cool site.
Check it out:
Note to self: Download this movie.

OK. I am digressing… Enough of my sleepless none sense… back to the “real” insomnia issue.
And I found out that it’s not a simple thing.

Based from National Center for Biotechnology Information (U.S. National Library of Medicine), there are four types of Insomnia:

Psychophysiological insomnia; Learned insomnia; Chronic insomnia; Primary insomnia.

I don’t know which one I have but the basic treatments (or tips) for all cases are pretty much the same (please don’t mind the supposed-to-be mental notes I scribbled below!):

The following tips can help improve sleep. This is called sleep hygiene.

  • Avoid caffeine, alcohol, or nicotine before bed. —> OK. Noted!
  • Don’t take daytime naps. —> as if  I can with my work load!
  • Eat at regular times each day (avoid large meals near bedtime). —> Hard to do but okay.
  • Exercise at least 2 hours before going to bed. —> seriously?? where can I possibly get the energy!?
  • Go to bed at the same time every night. —> seems possible…
  • Keep comfortable sleeping conditions. —> i can arrange this…
  • Remove the anxiety that comes with trying to sleep by reassuring yourself that you will sleep or by distracting yourself. —-> i will try…
  • Use the bed only for sleep and sex. —> hahaha. OK. Noted! 😛

Do something relaxing just before bedtime (such as reading or taking a bath) so that you don’t dwell on worrisome issues. Watching TV or using a computer may be stimulating to some people and interfere with their ability to fall asleep. —> as if I could keep myself away from the nearest PC! haha

If you can’t fall asleep within 30 minutes, get up and move to another room. Engage in a quiet activity until you feel sleepy.

One method of preventing worries from keeping you awake is to keep a journal before going to bed. List all issues that worry you. By this method, you transfer your worries from your thoughts to paper. This leaves your mind quieter and more ready to sleep. —> Yey! Done! 🙂

Watch out for more nonsensical posts while I battle out the sleepless (and terribly hot) nights this summer. Please, please, please… bear with me.

I wish us all a good night and a long undisturbed sleep! ZZZzzzzzz….

Thanks twitter!

I have finally proven that twitter is not a total waste of time.

I have been out of touch with the world lately (maybe because of no t.v.) and twitter has been the medium in keeping me updated with the latest.

Here are just some of my latest obsessions discovered via twitter.

Exhibit A. Parokya ni Edgar’s new video for “Pangarap lang kita”

The first ever concert I ever attended was a Parokya ni Edgar and Eraserheads (yes, on the same night) concert in Zamboanga City. I think I was a highschool freshman or sophomore.
It was epic and I was a fan of both bands ever since.
Thanks PnE for another cool soundtrip! 😀

Exhibit B. Rihanna and Britney’s collaboration

Being a Britney fan (in what seems like forever) and a Rihanna addict lately, I stirred with excitement together with the twitter world when Rihanna tweeted:

“I got a #SEXY collabo comin your way supa dupa soon!!!!! OH YEAH!!! By popular demand…. Its BRITNEY BITCH!!!!”

…and what added to the anticipation is Britney’s reply:

“@rihanna You’re such a tease! I like it, like it…. – Britney”

So we fans know it’s S&M for sure!
And when they finally released it, all hell broke loose! 😛

Exhibit C. Lea Michele’s New York Adventures

Not only am I being updated with the latest from Glee, but also the latest from Broadway.
This is c/o Miss Lea Michele.

It seems that she is always going to New York for the weekend and is watching every Broadway musical imaginable.

I so envy her.
But I am mostly thankful.
Her tweets are like windows of Broadway for me.

I also learned of interesting movies that were or not yet released here (like Jane Eyre and Hannah).
All thanks to msleamichele!

Special Thanks to Tatia for introducing twitter and forcing me to create my own account! hahaha. miss you!