Always the Third Wheel…

I am always the third wheel. Third wheel in this context is not just when there’s a couple that is “together” and you’re this outsider who tends to ruin or interfere their moment (ika nga ni Bianca, a P.I.H.). But I realized that I am always this third person who seems to be in the “outside looking in” in what seems to be a very animated relationship.

With bestfriends… I have been getting along with so many different group of friends. Sometimes large groups that actually have very different group dynamics. One thing in common in these groups is that there always seem to be always groups of two that tend to get along more as opposed to other people in the group. And I just wasn’t like them. I mean, I get along fine with all of them (even individually) but I just never had a best friend. I have BFFs but not a BFF.

With sisters… Even among my sisters, I have felt like a foreigner. Well, it’s not that they treat me like one or anything. It’s just that ever since I left home for college, we tend to have grown in different directions.  I blame the distance, different environments, and not having TV.

With lovers… Don’t even get me started with this. Because of all the situations of being a third wheel, this is the one I am mostly in. Two of the (literally) closest people in my life right now are in a very healthy and loving relationship with each other.

Don’t get me wrong… I am not complaining. This is just a reflection or an observation. Because recently, observing is what I do mostly. And it’s not that bad. Being a witness to the highs and lows of these different relationships make me reflect on my own life… makes me reflect on life. I may not always like what I see or realize in these contemplations, but I always love and treasure all the memories I have gathered while being a third wheel.

Only one thing scares me… Quoting Mark in Rent:

Why am I the witness?
And when I capture it on film,
Will it mean that it’s the end
And I’m alone?


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